Late Breaking News: Tim and Andy "CHRISten" New Couch

After weeks of low traffic due to a lack of furniture, new roommates BOC Andy T., Esq., and November FOC Tim H. finally got their couch(es) and threw an impromptu dinner party last week to celebrate. The intimate occasion also served as an opportunity for one of the big guy’s official "CHRIStenings," whereby Chris actually makes a house call—he comes out to you!—and uses your new purchase. He says it gives inanimate objects a little jolt of positive energy to ensure a lifetime of service. Kinda like that slap on the ass that doctors give a newborn to jumpstart breathing. [Or used to. Damned political correctness.]

Press-hungry Tim H. left us a “hot tip” on our voicemail about the party so we were able to score this exclusive pic. And a bowl of chow. When asked after the pasta dinner how he felt, an excitable Tim replied:

“I’m feeling good, man, I really am. We got our couch, Chris is here sitting on it … Whew! I haven’t felt such a rush since the last time he came over. Thanks, buddy!”

Chris Weekly: The slap on the ass you need to keep breathing.