Sissy Named February FOC

CW is proud as a peacock to announce its first female Friend of Chris…

Mer B.! [aka Sissy, aka Madge, aka Cal]

No, she’s not one of the Spice Girls. You may remember Mer B. from our wedding, where she served as maid of honor (shown above with BOC and presiding officiant Andy T.), or past posts ["Chris's Sister-in-Law: She's Just Like Chris," Nov. 22; (Recorded) LIVE: Thanksgiving 2007 As It Happens," Nov. 22; "(Recorded) LIVE: CHRIStmas Pics 2007, Dec. 30]. Virginia Beach native Mer B. is Chris’s adoring sister-in-law, and a 28-year-old magistrate for her hometown. Don't let that photo fool you. She’s a tough ol’ gal; a no-nonsense broad. Should you find yourself brought before her after a particularly raucous Friday night in VB, just remember — she doesn’t like a lot of sass. [Or bad grammar.]

A lady of versatile interests, Madge appreciates interviewing the recently arrested and setting bail just as much as she does a midnight pound of hot, buttered, salted, al dente pasta accompanied by an episode of The Golden Girls. (Or perhaps these days, Flight of the Conchords)

Other likes include soft, chewy, doughy bread (just like Chris); reiterating safety statistics and recommendations; BQ chips; Us Weekly; more importantly, Chris Weekly; french fries and chicken tenders; cops; correctional humor; cats; sunbathing; Matt Nathanson and several other handsome, obscure singer-songwriters; karaoke; apple pie and ice cream a la mode (also just like Chris); assigning diet points, unnecessarily, to food and drink; Coach [bags, not flight class]; Rent, both the Broadway production and film; true crime novels; and fictional crime novels.

Mer’s dislikes include convertibles with the top down, windows up; reheated fried food; danger; college episodes of 90210; and GIRL SINGERS. [Except Julie Andrews and Amy Winehouse]

Upon learning of this most prestigious award, Mer exulted in a high-pitch squeal, “Eeeeeeee! Thank you, CW. Let’s party! Actually, ‘party’ should not technically be used as a verb. So, instead, let’s celebrate with abundant libations! As you know, alcohol is the number one cause of a good time. Free Bacardi O and Sprites for everyone at Fire and Vine at Hiltop! There’s only two points in a 5 oz cocktail!”

Congratulations, Mer B.! We’ve got a bag of BQ Kettle brand chips with your name on it. [Well, currently it says “STAFF” but we can change that.]