From the Editor in Chief, U.S., and Publisher

Hello readers,

I extend my greetings and salutations wholeheartedly, though I understand if you choose not to accept them. It’s been eight long days since our last post, which was admittedly weak at best to begin with [“Chris Saves Face,” Jan. 22]. In short, our office has moved from an undisclosed location to another undisclosed location, and in a nutshell, it’s been a real sounds-like-witch.

We at Chris Weekly are undergoing a corporate restructuring the likes of which most upstart blogs have never seen. We're completely revamping our facility, for starters, so everything's packed up in these orange crates, which makes accessing any reports or files on Chris difficult. While you’ve been clamoring for live coverage and photos, and wondering what Chris has been eating for lunch or what he did over the weekend, the staff here at CW has been packing and unpacking these crates, and familiarizing itself with new computer servers and equipment -- and worst of all, new personnel. Okay, that sounded a bit misanthropic. Worst of all, inexperienced personnel.

The powers that be did some hiring that’s sure to facilitate our burgeoning operations, such as the new titles of Production Editor and Vice President of Minutiae, but with that came some firing. There was some “pain,” as they say in the corporate trenches. Benny, our dedicated janitorial engineer and attentive mailroom/bathroom attendant was let go [on a Friday, of course, as studies have shown there’s less chance of an incident that way], as was our longtime receptionist and security chief Big Walt. True, these two were behind the scenes; but an understated position in no way diminishes the importance of valued staff.

Having said that, we’ve got at least a little bit of news for you today as we work toward working again at full capacity. Chris left for lunch recently and we’ve got a correspondent trailing him in the city now to find out where he’s headed. Also, Chris sat down with me for an exclusive interview about his recent brush with the fuzz en route to Virginia Beach! We hope to have that for you by COB today. [That’s corpspeak for “close of business” for you civilians.] As always, CW appreciates your saint-like patience.