Brett from Alexandria writes:"One thing about the big guy -- he loved Sean Taylor. What a miserable day for Chris Weekly nation."
Thanks for writing, Brett. You're right. It has indeed been a difficult 24 hours for Chris, as well as the entire CW readership, who collectively ache when the big guy aches. At the risk of sounding insensitive at the loss of a life, and out of respect for those readers still coping with this tragedy, CW's regularly scheduled, knee-slappingly hilarious posts have been suspended indefinitely. Instead, we have some news from the traffic/circulation front.
It's no secret that we run a high-tech operation here at CW. And now, thanks to this Orwellian (but in a good way) program that lets our staff see who's visiting the blog around the world, we've learned Chris Weekly has gone international! The long-held dream of both Chris and our publisher is coming to fruition: Chrismania. In addition to our loyal fan base here in the DC metro area, CW has had visitors from the following destinations: Bangalore, India; Seoul, South Korea; Warrington, England; Slough, England; Trondheim, Norway; Mataro, Spain; Las Plamas de Gran Canaria, Spain; and Augusta, Italy. Chris had only one comment when presented with this information: "Where's Russia?"
This is just the beginning, folks. We'll win over the Russkies. They'll crave the latest CW news more than good vodka and a pair of Levi's. Chrismania is on the brink. We're talking action figures, t-shirts, coffee table books, endorsements ... We envision suburban dads unscrewing scalding hot lightbulbs with their bare hands; young people throughout Europe eschewing vehicular transportation for their bicycles (wait, that's already the case); street urchins in India panhandling for money to buy Chris Weekly tees; Italian lovers sharing a gelato, not over an antiquated, inky newspaper, but while reading the latest post on Chris Weekly.
Readers, your role in this plan is integral. Let's work together to make Chris a global household name. Grab a tourist, discretely yet aggressively usher him/her into an alleyway, and clue them in to our mission here at CW. Or galvanize that dormant relationship with your childhood pen pal in Paris. Maybe grab Grampa's old shortwave radio and communicate with folks overseas. Cheese and rice, just make a connection with a foreigner and give 'em this website. There's always a vacancy in Chris's world.
Chris Weekly:
Capturing hearts, sculpting minds. One country at a time.
1 comment:
Rube, after a week or mourning that has felt like a month, I think it's time to honor Sean by getting on with our lives. We should get back to the business of working hard and playing hard, as Sean would.
What I'm getting at here Rude, is make with the posts already! I hear the big guy has an outing tonight. A hoops game? I hear Chris game off the bench for this freshman high school team. His insight into the ongoings on the ol hard wood should be profound and memorable.
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