From the Editor in Chief, U.S.

Hello all,

It's another Thursday at the office. Blech. I posted that picture there because that's what I wish I were doing right about now: eating Cheetos in the Hamptons. But with my big birthday weekend ahead of me things are looking up. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, as it were. Speaking of light... (How's that for a segue? And here's a couple of puns!) Chris "shone" his "brilliant" wisdom on me last night as we readied for bed.

See, we have two sources of light in the bedroom, both of which are usable but broken. The bedside lamp is missing the little black thing that you turn to make it come on; we had to put it on the living room lamp after its little black thing broke. So, to turn on this light we just plug in and unplug. A pain but not big enough of one apparently, as it's been this way for some time now. The other light, in the closet, is one of those old-fashioned, no frills, lightbulb-with-a-string setups; like something you'd see in an interrogation room. Well, the string's spring, if you will, broke a couple months ago. Yes, months. The string hangs but its useless. You can no longer pull it to make the light come on. Rather, we must screw in and unscrew the bulb. Not a big deal when the bulb has been off and is cool. When it's been on for a while, it's a different story. Which brings me to the aforementioned wisdom.

I went to go (literally) turn the closet light off, carefully selecting a shirt I deemed thick enough to unscrew a flaming hot bulb. I couldn't get a good turn. Admittedly, I probably didn't give it my all, calling instead for backup. "Chris!!!!!!!" He comes in and unscrews the bulb in like 3 seconds. "I'm so worthless, eh, babe?," I ask coquettishly. He explains to me that he's so fast at it because he doesn't even use a shirt! He goes in and unscrews the hot bulb WITH HIS BARE HANDS. He says (happily) the trick is to do it enough so that you lose feeling in your fingertips. Ahh, so that's what I was doing wrong! I wasn't allowing the nerves in my fingertips to burn to the point that I've lost sensation! He's always teaching me something. And oftentimes I also learn a little something about myself in the process.

So readers, you're probably asking, instead of continuing to burn his fingers off, why doesn't Chris just replace the light thingy in the closet???? Because anyone can just "replace the light thingy." Chris's solutions involve discomfort. How many of you can say the same thing? [CW UPDATE: Chris confirms he has no plans to fix the closet lighting situation any time soon.]

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